Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Reader Submission! Keep them coming!

No, sweetheart, I'm sorry. You can't get drunk by licking the outside of the glass! It just won't work!
Piercing McGee sure seems pretty cuddly....
THANK YOU for the submission! Please keep sending them to mockwaukee@gmail.com!

Who ya gonna call?

Egon Spengler, is that you? I barely recognized you without your glasses!

Not that another inch of that awful fabric should even exist, but if you're going to wear a shirt as a dress, it should be a little longer, thanks.

Or maybe try pants? Cover up that bruise perhaps?

Hey, Mom Jeans... Think you could lend some of your pants to the girl on the left? She seems to have forgotten hers.

Hey, guy in the middle, not sure if you're aware, but there seems to be a little bit of shirt peaking out from under your foil fake gold chains.

Or is that a suit of armor?

Asian Dominoes?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Apparently this album needed some eye candy?

We've seen Rock, Paper, Scissors, and the Gang of Rogue Hairdressers... What the hell is happening on the left?

If he's saying "Cheers," he is clearly lying.

Why are you so sad?

Attn MKE: Contrary to their belief, Self-tanner is not a substitute for pants.

Wearing sunglasses in the club (even atop your head) SHOULD be the worst part of a picture....

Apparently, five's company, six is a crowd.

Someone has better things to do than be surrounded by smiling dudes.

Having fingers is so much fun!

Reader Submission!

It's our first reader submission that wasn't already on a nightlife website! Thank you for sending it!
Reader comment: "Tranny just got a whole new image, if you ask me!"

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Another Love Letter FROM Mockwaukee to You

Hey, y'all, hope you're not making too big of fools of yourselves out in public (that's a lie).

Anyway, been getting lots of comments on lots of posts recently. Keep it up! Very entertaining.

Thanks for all the kudos on this post, which seems to have eternal life. Thanks for the encouragement!

I appreciate all feedback, and especially love the range I get - from lowest of the low, saying that the site is not funny, or that I am hellbound because of it, from saying that the posts are sometimes funny, sometimes not funny, and sometimes in the middle (that is from someone very decisive, opinionated, and profound, obviously), to those that say I am hilarious, and call me an anonymous hero. Maybe I need a cape, you know, for when I am not living out the Clark Kent part of this hero thing.

Anyway, keep the reader submissions and feedback coming! I love them both! I STILL am waiting for a submission that is not from a nightlife website, though!

Don't forget, you can send submissions to mockwaukee@gmail.com ! I will keep your anonymity (unless you ask me not to!).

With nothing but love from your most or least favorite person in the world (or, maybe someone who is in between the most and least favorite),

Mockwaukee MKE

Holy Eyebrows! (Reader Submission!)

WOW!!!! That HAS to be a costume, right? I mean, please tell me it is. Like, if we wish really hard, can we pretend it is? He seems to have friends... None of them wanted to help that guy out?
Wait, I think the little guy in the bottom left corner of the second picture is actually mocking him in this picture! He has to be pointing at that unibrow!
Don't forget, you can submit to mockwaukee@gmail.com

Hey, Dudes, Do Somethin' With Those Hands! (Reader Submission!)

Her caption was "Dur Dur Dur!"
Don't forget, you can submit to mockwaukee@gmail.com

Whoa, Good Job/Thanks, Kryg!

I didn't notice that crazy slanty angle thing in the Info* Mag Launch Party @ Whiskey Bar album. YAY! I didn't even notice it was you, until I saw your name in the corner! How refreshing!
Love always,

Thumbs up, man. Seriously.

He assures you, he is having the time of his life.

Awww, shucks!

"Uhh, there are some girls over there who are doing something."

"This is just one of many areas on my face that my razor would like to reaquaint itself with."

Nothing to mock, this is incredible.


Someone should have told you this a couple weeks ago, but I think you have some leftover Halloween fake spider web stuff stuck to your lead.

Also, maybe you should ask your friend not to try to put her boobs on your chin, because that is probably awkward, and not a solution to your problem.


"Yeah, you can take our pictures, but we're a little shy about our thumbs."

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hate mail

As you may remember/be able to see from this post, Mockwaukee is no stranger to hate mail.
Well, it happened again!

I first thought that the first comment was going to be all, but then people somehow KEPT COMMENTING, so I decided to wait it out a bit and see if more comments would be made!

And they did, for a while.

To see them all in their original glory, click here.
Ok, time for my responses...
You'll see them after the bold "Mockwaukee:."
Laura Funk said...

HEYYYYYY whoever runs this site. must be the number one HATER in Milwaukee. especially when you put my fabulous friends on blast.

how about in the episode of "your parents must be really proud" <----- they must be really proud that your a hater that spends all their time making fun of ppl that are way cooler than yourself.

skeez ball.

Anonymous said...

I agree Laura! One of the girls in here is my friend as well. What is the big deal about people going out and having a good time? Did they do anything to you? No! They are just out having fun with friends. Maybe you are jealous because you don't have any friends or you weight 200lbs and have a low self esteem so you have to pick on others to make yourself feel better. Either way, get a life! Seriously. You are making yourself look like a fool. For the post "your parents must be really proud" I think her parents are really proud. Grad School is all I'm gonna say. Where are you in life? Posting pictures of strangers and hoping people write nasty comments by them. Grow up.

Mockwaukee: Yes, you are right. I weight 200lbs, and I spend ALL of my time on this site.

Anonymous said...

i think there is a difference between "people going out and having a good time" and humping each other and trying get attention at a bar. really, grad school? did she submitt skeez ball on her application?

Anonymous said...

hey guess what chick who runs this, YOURE A BITCH!!! :)

and YES my parents are proud, cunt.

Anonymous said...


Mockwaukee: Wow, you really got me. I am the one who should be ashamed. If the picture didn't show enough class, these comments made up for it.
Is Mockwaukee calling people names and using the foulest of language being a badass (but only on the internet?). Hmmm.... Think Mommy and Daddy would be proud of these comments you've left?

P.S. It's sooo fortunate that there just happened to be a photographer around when your stool collapsed. Bonus for Mockwaukee!

Anonymous said...

i am one of those boyfriends and it was HILARIOUS!!!!

Niki Marie said...

you know, someday you really will rot in hell like you said. you are already living in your own hell that you created for yourself because you are a worthless piece of shit. each and every one of these girls is out making something of themselves and striving every single day to be better. and they will be better than you. you will realize that someday and you are going to feel very sorry for yourself and regret all the horrible things you have done. someday you will have a horrible guilt on your shoulders and i hope that day comes sooner rather than later and no one will be there for you. please do go rot in hell.

Mockwaukee: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Talk about a flair for the dramatic! I would type more, but it is really hot in this hell I've created for myself.

Anonymous said...

You know, I personally think whoever is doing this website is hilarious. Whether or not they have no life or friends is irrelevant to me. I just like a good laugh and this certainly does it. I also would like to point out that I have gone home with a few of the girls on this site and that is only because I recognized them from mockwaukee and knew that they would be an easy score. Keep it going mockwaukee, my penis thanks you!

Mockwaukee: You're welcome!

Ok, that's that! I hope you are as entertained as I am! Still laughing about the one about my personal hell. Wow, here I thought I was just making an entertaining site, but I guess it was actually a personal hell. Shit! I hate it when that happens.

If you're not opposed to following a worthless piece of shit who "weights" 200lbs and is a friendless loser sans proud parents or direction in life, don't forget you can follow me on twitter, so you will get texts to your phone when Mockwaukee is updated!

Now, go out and take some embarrassing photos, so that I can intensify the guilt I will eventually wake up to.

Love always,


First suitable reader submission!

The person who sent this said, "If you haven't already...."

(which, I am pretty sure I did, but it might be worth bringing back)

"There is too much going on here, I don't know who you would make fun of first...."

Well, folks, I will leave that to you.

Don't forget, friends. You can email pictures to mock at mockwaukee@gmail.com - and they don't have to be from one of the scenester sites. You can get them from facebook, myspace, your own camera, etc... Anywhere! And feel free to include a caption!

www.milwaukeenights.com VIA mockwaukee@gmail.com

Ok, I used to make fun of exposed bra straps that didn't match, but this is really out of control.

Also, someone should send this to www.antiduckface.com. I am too lazy.


Who do you have to blow What do you have to do to get your face blurred for anonymity on Milwaukeenights.com?

By the way, if you want to see the classiest of the classy, please check out this album and this album.



This album has convinced me that the scariest Halloween costumes were all at Hot Waters/The Wherehouse.

Look at your own risk.

I don't know what they are supposed to be, but I am scared.


If you ever want to mug someone who for sure has CA$H, go to Texture.

Is that Shaquille O'Neil?

Apparently, this guy likes to put his money where his mouth is, and has no fear of diseases.