Friday, January 30, 2009

We're distraught, too.


Holy mutant, Batman!


I don't know what those goggles are protecting him from. I feel as though we should be wearing the goggles. And by "goggles," I of course mean "blindfolds."

Did someone pass wind?


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Oopps.

I did not die or fall off the face of the earth.

No one that I mocked on this site has found me and killed me.

Just been lazy. I'll be back soon!

Monday, January 12, 2009

If you've got it, flaunt it!



Or something like that.

Kids, please....



A tender moment at SUGAR!
www.milwaukeenights.com

This is wrong on so many levels.



It looks like it should've been from the pages of National Geographic or something, but it's not. It's from Milwaukeenights.com.

This image sponsored by:



Partnership for a Drug-Free America, and Sharpie.

www.milaukeenights.com

Is that a harmonica hanging from his neck?



No, seriously, is it?

And is he guarding Buckingham Palace or something?

Perplexing


I can't put my old man in a tie and sweater, I mean "finger" on it, but there is something awkward about this picture.

7 Days?



Does seeing the orange girl on the right mean that I only have seven days to live, or do I get to live until when I would've otherwise died, because I am showing this picture to other people?

www.milwaukeenights.com

Hmm.



I don't know what she is doing with her arms. I also don't know if her entire bra is meant to be showing like that. It's a cute, bra for sure, but really?!

www.milwaukeenights.com

Surely, this was done in photoshop.



A. Outfits. What?!
B. Are they playing airplane at Razor Room?

www.milwaukeenights.com

Hey, you!


Want to see the underside of my chin?

Friday, January 9, 2009

This is wrong on so many levels.



Her thumbnails are red and green, for those of you who are not as detail-oriented (ready to tear someone's appearance to shreds) as I am. Also, peep the chick in the background!

Image source: www.milwaukeenights.com

These just boggle my mind!


How are there so many?!?

The "Date Function" on my computer's clock tells me differently, but...



I'm mildly concerned that I spent 10.5 months in a coma, and am looking at a picture from a Halloween party. Which one is Ghetto Spice?

www.milwaukeenights.com

Ebony and Ivory...


Oh wait, they're both caucasian.... I think? Goodness!

No, sweetheart.


Blush was not invented to let girls achieve the "I just narrowly escaped being burned alive in a house-fire" look.

Awww.



Another tender moment.

Image courtesy of www.milwaukeenights.com

Class abounds!




I am quite fond of the bottom girl in blue's STARmpit tattoo. That is some sexy shit right there.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Was there a rollback?


I can think of no other reason why someone would buy a NYE dress from the Walmart Lingerie section.

This rarely occurs in nature.

Fake blondes with fake tans surrounding a guy in a Hollister shirt? Yeah, whatever you say buddy. I'll believe it when I see it.



Oh, damn! Oops!

www.milwaukeenights.com

He's sure she's sure.


"Raise her hand, raise her haaaaannnnd.... If she's Sure!"
Oh, and side note, what is on the right?!

Surfing?



Is Blue Hat Jones on a surfboard that we can't see?

www.milwaukeenights.com

Envy = A Classy Establishment





I swear that second picture was in another album on Milwaukeenights.com before this. I'm sure it was even in this blog before. Are we to believe that those girls were doing that exact same horribleness on NYE AND some other random night a while ago?

Hmm.



She's gorgeous, but what has she done to her hair? And what is she wearing? And what is with the dude's stripes and light colors? Misguided much?

www.milwaukeenights.com

Yuck, here's another!


How are there so many? This couple... is attractive?

Two things:


1. Holy boobs.
2. Isn't the guy on the right the last Pope? I thought he died?

Awww



What I don't understand, is if the photographer is ASKING these people to kiss, or just creepily stalking couples and waiting for them to kiss, or what... Weird.

www.milwaukeenights.com

Uh oh...


I think her hair wants to eat his face!

www.milwaukeenights.com

I just don't understand.



So he's wearing a bowtie and vest... And some sort of renaissance fair poking weapon on his finger? Someone please help me understand this one....

Image courtesy of www.milwaukeenights.com

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Talk about having seen better days!


Really Milwaukee Nights? That's just mean!
(You can substitue "hilarious," "pretty damn funny," or any other similar words or phrases for "mean," and that sentence remains true.)

I hope that she was at a theme party before Decibel.



You know, an 80's themed party or something. I'll leave the runner in her pantyhose alone.

Image - www.milwaukeenights.com

Remember those games from the newspaper...

Where you're supposed to find what's wrong with the picture?



Sometimes, there are just too many things to name.
Image courtesy of www.milwaukeenights.com

I think there was a weird mannequin at Decibel on NYE.


How else do you explain it?

Monday, January 5, 2009

These girls...

Have a future ahead of them that is almost as bright as the spotlight that will be shining on them when they're working the poles!



I'm so glad that MilwaukeeNights went to the SUGAR NYE party!

The title of the album on Milwaukeenights.com?

"Envy Thursdays - THE Place to be on Thursdays!"

What it should have been: "Envy Thursdays - THE Place to be on Thursdays, if you're a VERY CLASSY BROAD!"








I guess I'm not allowed there.

Images from http://www.milwaukeenights.com/ (And there are more that coulda been here, too, I was just too lazy to put them up!

What is this? The claw?



"The chicken had very large talons."

Photo credit: www.milwaukeenights.com

Your moms are going to be SO PROUD!!!


Classy.

Mimi Bobeck, is that you?



Nice eyeshadow, ladies!
Top picture: www.themilwaukeescene.com, bottom picture: www.tvacres.com